Long Distance Relationships: Aayo, I'm Tired of using Technology!

Long Distance Relationships (LDRs) suck! There's simply no other way to properly qualify the experience. It sucks. Think of something that sucks.... sucks even more than that. 

For starters, communication is virtual, technology-dependent, controlled and almost scripted.

The fights are just as torrid as a non-LDR. You apparently can't sulk successfully without Skype having a glitch and freezing your lips in a less-than flattering position. I would know, I have pictures to show. Then connection is lost and Skype tries to reconnect the call in vain. 
In deep frustration and annoyance, you decide to go for a walk. As you step out of your front door, the first thing you see; two people making out in an alley. Great, how generous of them to share their intimacy with the rest of the universe. After the walk, you get back home and thankfully, the alley lovers are gone. You feel yourself give in to gravity as you fall on your bed. For a minute, there is silence and you can hear yourself think. You think about calling back to resolve the issue but connection is still bad, no thanks to your internet provider. Somewhere on the borders of the silence, you hear something. It's faint but certain. Rhythmic and steady. Creaking noises coming from upstairs.
 The neighbors again.
 Soon, sounds which you could honestly live without join the rickety chorus. You plug your ears with your cheap earphones to block out the moaning and creaking. At that very second, as the sounds get louder, you promise yourself a pair of noise cancellation headphones.

LDR......... trust me, it sucks.

Now that we have established how sucky LD is, I'd like to say, believe or not it has a less sucky side. 

What are these awesome features of LDR? 

For starters, you get to save, dates are literally free. No waiter, no cashier, no bill. LDR is also actually fun, when you have absolutely no choice than to live with it. I was in a 6-year LDR  and it felt like Hades. Ok, it felt a little like the corridor to Hades. So, with 6 years and 7 geo-locations between us, we kinda embraced the experience and all that it had to offer us.  It was a great opportunity to develop my communications skills. Technology has its own unique way of messing up what you actually mean to say. Think auto-correct. I had to learn to speak clearly and to provoke understanding, which really just takes the tinge out of being a girlfriend. The whole essence is to remain an enigma and provoke mystery and confusion, right?

More stuff to appreciate; you get to build a relationship that is beyond physical needs. Can't touch this....literally. It also is the perfect contraception, if you know what i mean. 

You learn to self-soothe when you see other people cuddle and cling, builds independence and self-assurance. It’s a great fidelity test too, not many people survive the physical drought of LDR. It’s for those with strong hearts and wooden bodies (Yes, Body is Wood, contrary to the famous Nigerian saying. Body has to be Wood to survive there). So you see, it’s not all thorns and twigs. If your relationship survives distance, then it can pretty much survive anything. 

So if you are in a LDR, congratulations on finding someone you actually feel strongly enough to board this crazy boat. If you have survived a LDR, please share your success stories below!