My friend recently got married, moved into an amazing apartment- wooden floors, with an incredible stream of natural light and a light cinnamon fragrance in the air.Beyond the perfection and the chirping birds, beyond the pine wood floors and the dessert-tinged ambiance of her home, carefully tucked away, deep in her luggage was her beat-up "panties of condemnation." You know, the "drawers of doom", "the deformed briefs beyond reform", you know those 5-year old COMFORTABLE, threadbare, tired pair of cotton briefs with amazing coverage but a less flattering view. There it was... stashed in her luggage.
So she sneaks this panties
into her new home and is in stark denial about its state. Trust me, it's a
wreck. Lol. She doesn't wear it too often, being a new bride and all. But on
those days when she couldn't be bothered, she throws 'em on.
Her husband, of course, would
want nothing more than to see it burn. He tried several times to "make
them go away" but she'd always notice, as you would if someone tried to
take away your fav underwear.
The plot thickens. She then
discovers her husband has a pair of boxers just as ancient. Faded and stressed
are the best ways to define them. She adds to her denial, justification; he had
one, she had one, end of story.
Eventually, they both realize how much they can't stand each other's contraband. The couple agree to let go and have a toss-out day when they throw out their ancient loin cloths. Miserable and in denial, they are still yet to set a date for the toss-out.
To encourage "Toss-out
day", my suggestion was for them to go underwear shopping!
Shopping is always a good
idea, though she still looked longingly at her dear underwear. I encouraged her
saying, at least she would have brand new ones which she would start to enjoy
once they were broken-in and get holes. Her husband also gets to enjoy the new
underwear benefits. He also gets to go underwear shopping which for men is
uneventful and probably involves the sofa, a PC and Amazon. For us girls, a
little more preparation is required. I recently went on a toss-out shopping
trip myself. Here's a couple of stuff to keep in mind while planning the trip:
First, start your work-out
routine like two months before (if you aren't a regular). Works your abs, arms,
some lunges and squats too. It's only right that you are pleased with yourself
in the dressing room mirror.
Third, ask the attendant for
help. Some of them really know what they are talking about.
Get a mix of styles; some
comfy boy-shorts, frilly stuff (not to be worn under body-con dresses), some lace
Brazilian cuts, some no VPL briefs (no visible pant lines) to prevent pant
lines, some thongs (if those works for you), some groin-strings...... also
known as g-strings. Lol. Groin-strings (who knew that was the full name?! Not
so sexy anymore, aye?)
Get a few matching sets; different
colors. Polka dots. Print. Stripe. Leather (if that's your thing).
Lastly, ensure the crotch area
is cotton as recommended by physicians. Hopefully, "out with the old
skivvies, in with the new underthings" works for my friend.
Have you been successful in
getting rid of your adored intimates? Give my friend a tip below...
Weird facts about underwear....
1. In the Edwardian/Victorian
age, women wore crotchless underwear. It was considered improper to wear
anything that covered the crotch. (This really took Downton Abbey to another
level for me. I'll never be able to look at Granny Grantham the same)
2. It's hygienic to have a
cotton crotch on your panties (whether you are into silk or leather, make sure
it has a cotton crotch lining....unseen stuff go on down there)
3. The average underwear
lifespan for a woman is 7 years; a man, 8 years
4. Your underwear determines
your mood which brings us to #5
5. Women who wear
g-strings are apparently more confident
"Groin-strings."
Have a great weekend! x
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