LFB: Entry 16

Tiide Olufola-Carson
Lagos
One week since the last "Ugo mishap".



I called Ugo last night. I had had it waiting for him to call. He had been back in France for a week now. He hadn't called and he hadn't picked my calls. However, he sent me flowers at work; a huge bouquet of white lilies. What did that even mean? Flowers for the side-chic? Was it a thank-you-for-last-week gesture? I was NOT a side-chic. He needed to understand that. I deserved a steady open relationship  and I was going to tell him that I had a life and I had a boyfriend who was eternally loyal and specifically designed for me.

At the first try, there was no response. By the second, it went straight to voice mail. I paced around my living room and absent-mindedly rearranged my yellow and grey throw pillows. What was he doing? He sure wasn't studying. Was he with her? Was he sleeping over? Did her building have an elevator too? I liked to imagine the elevator was our thing. Was she feeding him fenugreek and blended herbs like a goat.
Frustrated, I called again. Voice mail. I decided to watch reruns of "How I met your mother" to distract myself. I couldn't take my eyes off Wayne Brady on the show. Not because I find him attractive (which he is) but because he reminds me of Ugo. The resemblance is bizarre. This, clearly wasn't helping. I had to be at work the following day and it was about 12 midnight, so I decided to call one last time.

The phone rang about thrice and then I heard a voice. Not Ugo's. It was soft and seemed to have been half-asleep. Adira!

I would have given anything to be anywhere but on the phone that moment.

"Hello", the voice said huskily. Husky but sensual.

The red alarm went off in my head. Hang up! Hang up! Now!

I just sat there, phone to my ear, mouth open. 

"Hello", she said again, sounding groggy still.  

"Hi! Is that Adira?!", I said, trying to sound cheerful and familiar.

It felt like an out of body experience where my mind seemed to watch me make an absolute fool of myself while I tried to improvise with a potentially disastrous situation.  What are you doing, Tiide.

I cleared my thoughts.

"Who am I speaking with?", Adira said.

"This is Ire, I am Ugo's friend from back home. He has told me so much about you. It's great to finally speak with you."

"It's nice to speak with you too, Ire." There was an awkward silence. I still hadn't explained why I was calling at midnight.

"Ugo and I have a study group", I continued "I am currently enrolled in an MBA program like he is, so we have occasional virtual study meetings."  I stressed the word "virtual", I assumed that would ease her mind, there was no physical contact to suspect.

"Really? He has never mentioned you, Ire." She seemed little convinced.

She was wide awake now. I could hear it in her voice. My heart was thumping audibly in my ear.

"O yeah? Well, we aren't that close. We just connected on LinkedIn recently. He told me about the study group and so I joined about two weeks ago. Fabien and Anna are the others in our study group. It's my turn to call everyone, so we can chat and study."

That seemed to ease her suspicions a fraction . Fabien and Anna were Ugo's study mates from school whom she probably knew and whom he had told me about during one of our endless night calls.

"Ok", she responded  "He's fast asleep though. He's a bit.... tired out. Long evening. Maybe you could let him off tonight?" It was more of a statement than a question. She had a light accent that I couldn't quite place a finger on.

I typed "crying baby" swiftly into my search bar on my Macbook. There is no more perfect way to ease the suspicions of a girlfriend than letting her think you have a family of your own. I clicked a crying baby video. My exit strategy.

"...... o ok, Adira. I have to go now. I think my baby is up and I don't want to wake my husband. Please say hello to Ugo. Tell him I said he'd have to stay up double time over the weekend."

The baby in the video screamed unnaturally. I winced at the awfully crafted lies.

"Sure! Good to speak with you. Love to your little one. Good night."

I mumbled something and hung up quickly. O wow, that was a disaster. What did she mean by Ugo was tired-out? Long evening? We all knew what that meant. I imagined him kissing her, like he kissed me.
I needed to speak with Dara. Clarity and some common sense was what I needed.

to be continued.......