Love, Flicker, Burn: Entry 9

Tiide Olufola- Carson
Perth

I walked back into the room. Ugo stood with his shoulders slightly hunched, his back to me. He slipped a tiny blue box into his coat pocket and ran his hand over his head, seemingly deep in thought. I stood rooted to the spot. 

A box. A ring box.  This proposal shock was getting a bit overwhelming. This had to be the peak of my life, two proposals in seven weeks. Well, if the elevator incident never happened, there'd have been just one but let's put that aside. Was there a bug out there nipping everyone? I suddenly felt hot and uncomfortable, despite the draft. There was an opposite cooling sensation on my lips and that made me realize my mouth was wide open. Ugo was proposing! Dara was wrong after all! It’s funny what a ring could do to a girl; I couldn't remember what I was coming out to say. I took in quick, shallow breaths.

He cleared his throat, unaware of my presence and discovery and squared his shoulders, instantly transforming him from forlorn to dauntless. He turned on his heel with a determination rooted in intent to speak with me. To ask me to be his wife. My heart skipped a beat. He saw me standing in the doorway and stopped short of his resolute stride. 'Ugo', I started, though I had no idea what to say next.

'Tiide, I need to get something off my chest', he said. He looked so helpless and lost. What was I going to say? Ugo was worth more than an outright ‘No’. Maybe an 'I'd think about it' and I really just might think about it. What about Lanre? For a split second I missed Lanre; his simplicity.

I remained quiet. I needed air. I searched his face but I couldn't read his expression as just one emotion, it was a concoction of several. I saw meekness, stress, some urgency……some regret.

'There's something I need to tell you. Can we sit down?'

He had every reason to regret, he left me a year ago and now he realized it was not his smartest move yet.

I sat down on the old sofa which was sturdier than I expected. Mental ouch. The sofa had probably been reframed and reupholstered severally …….with the same top fabric.

'There's someone else.' He said in one breath.

I blinked rapidly like someone made me stare into smoke from a naked bonfire. My chest clenched and wouldn't ease. I really needed air now. I breathed in deeply but couldn't fill my lungs, or so it felt. Ugo looked straight at me, uneasy but with his firm gaze. He was slipping into his analytical mode. The same mode that got him promotions and raises in a wink. The same mode in which he saw no immediate future for us a few months ago. The same mode in which he dumped me.

He continued 'I met her in Toulouse, some months ago. Remember, I told you I have a short internship there in the Summer. I met her during my interview.....'

My mouth was open again but that was OK because I needed air and my nose wasn't doing the best it could for now.

'At the Airbus headquarters. I met her there. She works there.' He added, like it was important to know how they met. 'My internship is at Airbus....' He kept looking at me steadily, even though his narration was unhinged. He continued, slightly more coherent.
'I wasn't expecting to run into you at the airport and I probably shouldn't have come to Paris but I did. The last few weeks have been hell for me. I was going to ask her to marry me.' He removed the blue box from his coat pocket and held it in his closed palm, rubbing the velvet covering with his thumb.

Any more jolts of shock for me and I'd need an ambulance. So I managed quietly, 'You have only known her for a couple of months....' It didn't sound like me. I sounded defeated.

He paused. 'Yeah, I know but we just really hit it off.' He chuckled lightly, a reminiscent chuckle.  'Listen Tiide, I'll be honest with you. I do love her, it's just that with her, I would always wonder. I’d wonder what being with you would have been like. I’d wonder what you do and who you do it with……'

 'I'm not asking for anything more than just to see where this leads; where you and I lead. I need you everyday. The last few weeks made me realize that.' He paused, letting his words marinade 'And no matter what happens or what decision you make, I'd like us to be friends.'

I said nothing still. Mental note, seek ways to manage shock. One solution could be to avoid drama. Noted.

I thought about calling him out as a cheater, a liar, a demon but I was the pot, he was the kettle; we were black. 

To be continued....

Follow for post updates!
P.S  I do believe I owe LegalieTeal a gift. I shall be in touch!